Immediately cancel

I rarely know how to start, and when I do I can't finish. I had some thoughts to jot down, but they're not good enough, and they'll never describe how I feel anyway. I've taken to correcting my grammar so far, but i doubt I'll keep that up. I can never keep anything up for very long, though I have been known in the much too distant past to be different in bed. Gee, that reminds me of girls. Come to think of it, everything reminds me of girls, and girls haven't been very satisfying to me, which is in complete opposition to the designated purpose of my blog. Though dissatisfied, I haven't been acting it the last few months, which is great. It's a sign that I'm better than I was, or rather that I'm more in tune with the way I want to be, which is happy. And that suggests that I don't need satisfaction to be happy. And if I believe that, then I'm inclined to say that I don't want to be happy. That is, I would prefer a woman with all her parts over happiness. I dread that. I guess it would be fine to end here. Many haven't reached this point in a lifetime let alone a paragraph.

I saw some cool movies lately. They're cool because I can relate to them. I've pictured them even before I saw them and when I watched them I really enjoyed watching my own imagination and I was always trying unsuccessfully to be one character.

I'm still not at home. I do not see any prospects for a future home. I often think of home as a good woman. Sometimes I just stare at the wall. Dancing has become a part of my life, finally. I broke a toe to get that far and it was well worth it.

I still cannot overcome my tendency of immediate cancellation. Sometimes my feet really do lead the way. It's too bad we've become so dependent on language. In New York, at least, it's nearly impossible for me to be believable. "Don't trust that man!" is the ever relentless vibe I get. I can hardly blame anybody. Therefore, I've withdrew from politics almost as completely as I can. If I put joking aside I would have very little to say. The Dalai Lama laughs a lot too, though he doesn't play with women. I wonder how he'd be if he tried. Maybe he does try. I wonder if he'd laugh his way through a pornographic film. I heard porn was quite torturous for some middle eastern men, but they're different of course. I can't help but think at times that porn and middle eastern men and the Dalai Lama and everything is consistent and good. I can't help but think at times that everything is necessary. I can't help but think at times that somehow we are lost in our own front yards so to speak, and that a completely different world is but a wink away and perhaps infinity is in the palm of our hands. I can't help but think at times that homelessness is the root of all discontent. I also have a feeling that dancing, in all its forms, holds the keys to everyone's kingdom.