The Dudes

(In a slow, low drawled voice:) What we have in the world today is a lot of dudes. A dude here and a dude there. There's a dude under my chair. (And now with pitch:) Everything I do, there's a dude. (Exit pitch:) What would Jesus do?


Abraham: Jesus?

Jesus: Here am I.

Abraham: Jesus, thank God.

Jesus: I did.

Abraham: And did you ask him about my children?

Jesus: Of course, but I reckon you got another hundred years

Abraham: Jesus, you think I'll live that long?

Jesus: I do.

Abraham: And will you cherish every moment?

Jesus: I will.

Abraham: Do your vocal cords itch like mine?

Jesus: Yes.

Abraham: Are you ready?

Jesus: I was born ready Abe!

Abraham and Jesus: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HHHHHHHHhh
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(They collapse on the ground)

Abraham and Jesus: (very lightly) woooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

(Baked interlude: )
Jesus: That's good stuff Manham

Abraham: hu hu, you fucked up my name dude

Jesus: U jus calld me dude, dude

Abraham: I'm all fuckd up man

Jesus: Hey, loook at dis man, see dos dudes over dare hittin toes ladies?

Abraham: Yea man, U tink we shoot do sumpin?

Jesus: Here, u tro da firs tone

Abraham: naw man, I aint fallin fur dat won again

Jesus: heee hee hee heee

Abraham: man, if only you weren't a dude....aight man, I'm out

Jesus: me too

Abraham: have a wonderful day!

Jesus: you too!