Have you heard?

Then your ass better call somebody!!!!!!!!!!
Tonight is the night, the night of nights, the night of the week, it's Friday night and the mood is right, and you will be delighted to watch, not another episode of COPS, but Abe's premiere, the first of the year. So give a big hand, to Abraham and Lindsay Lohan, the newest, the greatest couple on Earth, and see it, see it, see it clear and bright on the big screen, where ya at boyyyyyy! Hit it! Get down on it, ner ner ner get down on it, ner ner ner, get down on it and move, to the left, to the left, to the right, to the right, now slide, slide, and dip baby dip, dip baby dip into your pockets, pull out a ten and a fiver, get a car and a key and a sober driver, b double e double r u n, tag team's back again, and whoops there it is.
And if ya still didn't call somebody, make your way to where the antelope play, be it Jamestown, Dunkirk, or where the buffalo roam, and see the debut of the greatest show on earth! Abraham, in Just His Luck, and you'll never feel the same about New York pedestrians again! So gather your mirthful spirit, open your minds and your wallets, and walk away knowing you've been touched by your best friend Abraham!
-No restrictions, refunds, or apologies. Abraham is a lisensed promoter of Feel The Mirth Inc. For more information contact feelthemirth@yahoo.com and feel the mirth you big baby.