fluffy snowflakes

So I got this phone call that changed my perspective for a night and a day and then mysteriously returned somewhat to my previous state, and now it can be said I'm stuck in the middle, as usual, riding the fence with aching balls. The dang thing is that this is probably a good thing. Men of action are enormously overrated. But one must go somewhere. Men aren't rocks after all. So I went outside for a walk in the blistering cold, with large fluffy snowflakes falling down on the crisp evening floor of Jamestown. I didn't get lost unfortunately, for long anyways, and so I didn't quite have a chance to make a decision. All I thought about was my inevitable return to an obvious state of indirection. As long as I could keep walking, though, I knew I wouldn't be discovered too thoroughly by the citizens who fleetingly acknowledge my existence on a road to nowhere. I spotted a hair on the keyboard and this is no matter.
For the new paragraph I will start by saying that I have an appointment in one hour and twenty-six minutes. What is to be done until that time comes? One older person in particular strongly advised to "get a job". I suppose I will. I do have to eat. But there was something more profound in that advice that I couldn't help being stuck on, and the tone of voice was a large indication of it. I felt more than a little bit scolded. I was shaken more than I usually am when I hear such scornful ramblings of derisive abuse and commentary because they were directed at me, and each word was a pinhole to my heart. And when I was on the brink of running to cry like the abused child I was, I heard an assumed reassurance that I was an adult being loved and the day's pain was over.
But I can't believe it. No pain was necessary. No pain was necessary. No pain was necessary. I won't compromise unless it's the pain of aching balls, and then only occasionally. I saw this happy place over the summer, and it was a dream of pine trees bogged down by the weight of several feet of snowflakes. I remembered this yesterday during a time of great anxiety as happens sometimes when I take medicine. I want to go skiing soon. Then I'll surely be moving fast and in a direction. One can be so charged by a simple phone call, especially when it's unexpected and expected. And after a long intermission.