Bleeding ball sacs

I don't care what anybody says. Torture can be hilarious. It's funny, it's hysterical. And then somebody says that it won't be so funny when it happens to you, and to that I will agree. I probably wouldn't laugh too much if I were tortured, but that doesn't mean that it's not funny for somebody else to get tortured, somebody that to me lives in a far off fictional world. And then the reasons for their torture are funny too. I am glad I can laugh about it rather than experience it of course. Oh wait, I did experience torture last week. I got swabbed negatively, if you know what I mean. And how could I forget those two ugly years subdued by Russian terrorists? I haven't of course. The memory haunts me every day, most blatantly in the form of anxiety and the unfinished business of putting the smackdown on their kielbasas. Da da da, da da da. Yours is coming bitch! Ha ha hah hah haha hahah hahahhahahh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm coming for your gold, nigga!!!!!!! I know how you cherish your gold. How would a high heel up your ass feel? Or interacial porn! Goddamn, I can't wait till I'm king! It wouldn't be like that though, because I'm too fucking nice. No matter how much I want to kick your ass, I won't. Because my superego would kick mine! Ha ha ha!
Next paragraph. Torture bitch reel. Torture bitch reel. It feels good to laugh. And this is where I say a bit about how I do my part. I don't torture anybody except myself, and to that I have a right for sure. And I don't feel compelled to donate my organs. Suffering is living, deal with it. I recommend laughing it up until your day comes.